I can’t believe that I’m off to my gorgeous cousin’s wedding next week…! If you’re a regular here or on Instagram you may recall that the outfit I’d picked out wasn’t exactly suitable so I’ve been searching for an alternative…! A proper post about my chosen outfit will follow (once I get some good photos next weekend!) but this post is actually about trying different sizes and (if you like to wear it) shapewear to transform an outfit. It’s also a little bit about the feedback I got when I asked the plus “community” for advice… 😂
My aim was to find an outfit to work around my gorgeous Bagladee clutch bag (sadly she’s stopped making them now):
My other requirement was that it needed to not be my usual vintage full circle swing style dress as my mam has decided to wear something like that to the wedding and I don’t want to look like her doppelganger either!
I’d been um-ing and ah-ing over this dress for ages (probably months!) and kept finding myself going back to it every time I look around for something. When it was reduced from £42 to £29 I figured I’d better snap it up! I usually size up with ASOS but they didn’t have a size 26 available at the time so I went for my usual size – a 24. When I tried the dress on I could just about do it up but decided I would be more comfortable sizing up and trying some shapewear to iron out the lumps and bumps.
So I decided to ask my peers in a Facebook plus size blogger group for shapewear advice…
The comments I received included individuals telling me they didn’t think the dress suited me. It was the wrong style/shape/colour for me or that I should try a pattern rather than a plain fabric. I was also told it wasn’t ‘flattering’.
Fortunately, these days my emotional shoulders are as broad as my physical ones and I was able to ignore the unrequited critical feedback but there was a time when I wouldn’t have been able to. Nobody was outright nasty in their comments but the old me would’ve perceived it that way. I’d have sent the dress back and felt self conscious that my body was wrong and that I should be hiding it away. Or at least covering it with something “flattering”.
These days I say “F*ck that! I love this dress and I’m going to find a way to rock it!”
So I sized up to a 28 – hoping it would be kimono-esque baggy in the sleeves and boob area, skimming over my hips and belly rather than being clingy.
I’m also wearing a control slip to disguise the belly VPL – a personal preference. Here’s the back:
I absolutely love the dress and the different style (for me) puts me out of my comfort zone a little. I can’t wait to create the finished look next week! (I’ll iron it too…!)
So to recap, my point is:
- Don’t be put off by comments online. Especially if they weren’t requested. Wear what you love. If you love it and feel fabulous in it you will look great!
- The size label in your clothing is arbitrary. Finding something that fits well is much more important. A smaller size isn’t always better and doesn’t make you a better person or anything. And besides – nobody is reading the label when you’re looking fab!
And to those of you who post critical comments on something where feedback hasn’t been requested:
- I was always told “if you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything”. Or as Ronan might say “You say it best when you say nothing at all”. 😊
Have you had negative feedback for an outfit you loved? How did you react or respond?